Work Occuring While Unemployed

They may look unassuming in their patriotic colored bag with their soft, round shape and approachable vintage orange coloring, but be warned, my friends, packed in this bag are 33 well-crafted agents of death.

Harbingers of death are often born and raised in disturbing conditions, conditions of abuse and maltreatment. The same can be said for the circus peanut –

Steve Kerr, Vice President of Operations for Spangler candy (one of the few remaining producers of circus peanuts) states — “I’m not a big fan”

Yes, circus peanuts are so vile, so reprehensible that not even their own creators can stand them. An outcast since birth, it’s no surprise that circus peanuts get their kicks by spreading misery and pain.

Once they move out of the factory, Circus Peanuts continue their path of destruction, casting an ominous shadow over the candy industry. Terrified Candy shop owner Pam Linseman says “You can’t be a candy store without circus peanuts.” Extortion, blackmail, and finally, murder, circus peanuts will stop at nothing to ensure their endgame.

And last, but not least, one must peer behind the orange veil of the circus peanut, and gain insight in the mind of a killer. What is it that makes these orange monsters tick? Sugar, Corn Syrup, Gelatin, Pectin, and Artificial Flavor, 39 grams of sugar - SUGAR lots and lots of SUGAR! Enough sugar to seriously decay one’s teeth or perhaps, enough sugar to make you go on a psychotic rampage? The Circus Peanut Defense?

Lock your doors, close your curtains, and most important of all, the thing that you must do above all others is avoid all purveyors of the dastardly peanuts, for your next trip to the corner store MAY BE YOUR LAST!

quotes taken from http://www.candyfavorites.com/shop/circus-peanut-history.php

So on day three, which is today, the Ides of July, I’ve already run out things to talk about. Yes, Tapeworms, cats, and Errol Flynn have complteley taken it out of me. It’s sad, but true.

And, at last, when all hope seems lost, when the river of creativity, born from the mountains of meandering, seems utterly dry, inspiration comes from the most unlikely place…..

She arrives in a cloud of salmon stink; god it’s gross, like talking to a small Jewish-woman with a fish head and old timey clothing…

Then moments later, without warning, someone somewhere releases something not meant for this world, not meant to ever be paired with Jewish-lady fish head. The warm, heavy smell (a mixture of dog food and soup that eats like a meal) floats through the air…

The two smells mix and mingle in ways that should never be. It’s truly horrifying.